I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
