I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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