D3 body, D1 cock
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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