My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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