the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Pants are for mortals
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
