We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
