i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
