Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just found puke in my bra..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
