I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
