When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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