When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
