ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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