Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the day after is always just damage control
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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