OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
