What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
