he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
