just come out here and I will go home with you...
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He's a Shit stain on my heart
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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