also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
