Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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