You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I believe in your delicious
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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