the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
