but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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