Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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