I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
