he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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