Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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