You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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