I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
