I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
