do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
