My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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