Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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