I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
