I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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