I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
