I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
no you cant smoke seaweed
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
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