Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
