u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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