nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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