It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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