Where is the hickey?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
