forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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