I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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