Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize