Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
third nipple confirmed
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
