I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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