so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
