kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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