we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I am available for nakedness
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize