ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
