the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
