Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
