i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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