We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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