I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
