you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
