Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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