you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
