i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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