the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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